Insurance claim form quotes?
True extracts from UK Insurance Claim forms; These were collected by Norwich Union for their annual Christmas magazine.
"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."
-----
"I pulled into a lay-by beside smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realized the motor was on fire so took my dog and smothered it next to a blanket."
-----
Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the calamity?
A: Traveled by bus?
-----
This Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form be:
Q - What warning was given by you?
A - Horn
Q - What admonitory was given by the other party?
A - Moo
-----
"I started to turn and it be at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction cause me to lose concentration and hit a bollard."
-----
"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."
-----
"I be going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grab my testicles so I lost control."
-----
"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"
-----
"I know the dog was possessive about the motor but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought in attendance was any risk."
-----
Q: Do you engage surrounded by motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes of a hazardous nature?
A: I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan.
-----
"First coup¨¦ stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis run into the rear of second car."
-----
"Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo."
-----
"The saloon in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"
-----
"I pulled away from the side of the road, glance at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."
-----
"The other car collided next to mine without giving warning of its intention."
-----
"I collided next to a stationary truck coming the other way"
-----
"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"
-----
"A pedestrian hit me and went below my car"
-----
"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
-----
"I have been shopping for plants all sunshine and was on my way home. As I reach an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my illusion and I did not seethe other car."
-----
"I be on my way to the doctor with flipside end trouble when my universal united gave way cause me to have an accident."
-----
"To avoid hitting the bumper of the saloon in front I struck the pedestrian."
-----
"My car be legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."
-----
"An invisible coup¨¦ came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."
-----
"I be thrown from the car as it left the road. I be later found in a ditch by some stray cows."
Answers:
that is a polite and very funny list, hehehe, i enjoy to put in an insursnce claim, cracked a rib laughing at your jokes,
Have a star
xxxxxxxxxxxx
They be brill hun, and I see Big John thought so too ... lol
ha ha ha funny
Brilliant
Hahahahahaaaa, brilliant mate, i used to can`t bear those lists, but i'm having a fookin devout laugh at them lately mate lol.
Ha Ha! Good ones!
Haha! Luv them :) Verry apposite!
Jolly good!
I always love funny answers to simple questions, the human stupidity is a moment ago amazing
a lot to read but good RTTTBIPMS Source(s): TOMATO
of course all heartfelt and acceptable excuses.
LOL LOL LOL Thanks for the laughs.
sounds about right lol!!xx
A brilliant one gratitude.
Hahaha, I close to the last one the best.. all of them are really funny though. ^.^
Class ! Loved the sarcasm of the 'probably voodoo!'
Related Questions:
"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."
-----
"I pulled into a lay-by beside smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realized the motor was on fire so took my dog and smothered it next to a blanket."
-----
Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the calamity?
A: Traveled by bus?
-----
This Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form be:
Q - What warning was given by you?
A - Horn
Q - What admonitory was given by the other party?
A - Moo
-----
"I started to turn and it be at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction cause me to lose concentration and hit a bollard."
-----
"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."
-----
"I be going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grab my testicles so I lost control."
-----
"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"
-----
"I know the dog was possessive about the motor but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought in attendance was any risk."
-----
Q: Do you engage surrounded by motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes of a hazardous nature?
A: I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan.
-----
"First coup¨¦ stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis run into the rear of second car."
-----
"Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo."
-----
"The saloon in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"
-----
"I pulled away from the side of the road, glance at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."
-----
"The other car collided next to mine without giving warning of its intention."
-----
"I collided next to a stationary truck coming the other way"
-----
"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"
-----
"A pedestrian hit me and went below my car"
-----
"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
-----
"I have been shopping for plants all sunshine and was on my way home. As I reach an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my illusion and I did not seethe other car."
-----
"I be on my way to the doctor with flipside end trouble when my universal united gave way cause me to have an accident."
-----
"To avoid hitting the bumper of the saloon in front I struck the pedestrian."
-----
"My car be legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."
-----
"An invisible coup¨¦ came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."
-----
"I be thrown from the car as it left the road. I be later found in a ditch by some stray cows."
Answers:
that is a polite and very funny list, hehehe, i enjoy to put in an insursnce claim, cracked a rib laughing at your jokes,
Have a star
xxxxxxxxxxxx
They be brill hun, and I see Big John thought so too ... lol
ha ha ha funny
Brilliant
Hahahahahaaaa, brilliant mate, i used to can`t bear those lists, but i'm having a fookin devout laugh at them lately mate lol.
Ha Ha! Good ones!
Haha! Luv them :) Verry apposite!
Jolly good!
I always love funny answers to simple questions, the human stupidity is a moment ago amazing
a lot to read but good RTTTBIPMS Source(s): TOMATO
of course all heartfelt and acceptable excuses.
LOL LOL LOL Thanks for the laughs.
sounds about right lol!!xx
A brilliant one gratitude.
Hahaha, I close to the last one the best.. all of them are really funny though. ^.^
Class ! Loved the sarcasm of the 'probably voodoo!'
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